Letter of 2003
Every picture tells a story - don't it? Yes'm, yessiree!
First the words and thoughts - then the picture story
Here is my second yearly catch up letter to you all and a bunch of new and old pictures - to browse through - telling the story - this new internet way. It's been a hell of a year in many ways - tough and great - just like life. Lately the phrase in my life that makes the most sense is " The only thing you can count on is change" and then there is the one that says " Life is just non ending circles". We all know it's so true.
Last year at this time I was still reeling from the huge loss of our father but I now really know - sorry for all the quotes - but "Time does heal all wounds". I don't think about him all day long anymore - just very intensely many times a day - and I feel him around me in spirit always - especially when I am pushing a boundary of any kind or really feeling my most alive and in full throttle, the way he lived, the way he loved us to live - and mostly when I am dancing. What I have learned about losing a parent is that you spend your life in relationship to them - while they are here and when they are gone you remain in relationship to them - trying to make sense of what and who they were to you - and who you are now without them - slowly but surely the answers come - what an amazing process.
My beloved dance - my blessed life gift - is surprisingly more part of my life now than ever before. I can't help but wonder if Dad is around me guiding me and pushing me still from the other side - because so many wonderful dance related experiences have happened since he passed away. And if he hadn't passed on I wouldn't have started discovering the amazing beauty and magic of this Belly Dance. I continually am dumbfounded by the fact that he isn't here to see me do this but I know that he would have loved it so and so he is with me - gleaming always - pushing me to go on and on......just like the song - on and on........so many cliches this year. The other night I got to dance for Mom - a solo performance - in the Backyard Studio - It was a special shining moment - unforgettable for both of us. We earthlings are so lucky to have two parents.
For those of you on my growing dance email list - you can see by my schedule this year - that my classes have expanded. And on this dance journey I am now incorporating all my dance knowledge, stories and lore into my classes. I am doing the dance of Arabian Nights or The Seven Veils or Ruth St Denis's veil daydreams - Anna Pavlova's Dying Swan with Isadora's spirit . I bring them all with me. I am teaching and dancing more than ever. I teach so many different people - of all ages - in different places - the message of this beautiful, multi faceted dance - and it is truly such a joy! The message of celebration in being and moving in your own body - in your own way - and of loving the vessel that you were born with. Also I have had - and keep having the most wonderful performances of every kind - danced in places for people I never would have dreamed of - and meeting the most wonderful and interesting people - teachers, students and event hosts. Sometimes I feel as if I am walking in a true dance dream. World famous Delilah and her family have been especially transformational in this part of my dance journey. (For those of you who might be interested in a sneak preview of the amazing belly dance world go visit her website www.visionarydance.com and see who she is)
While I have been totally consumed with my dance - my family has been going through many changes. Mark is now consumed - 24 hrs a day - himself with a new exciting Derecktor Shipyard project. He has gone back to the boatyard - his first love. My brother Paul - who now runs with success - the Derecktor Shipyards - located in Mamaroneck, NY., Bridgeport, Conn. and Ft Lauderdale, Florida has almost completed a new 260 ft ferry boat in the newest Bridgeport facility. Because of the size and many new Coast Guard regulations for ferry travel etc. there are many new things to iron out for transport from Conn. to Alaska. Mark is in charge of hiring a crew, outfitting the delivery and being part of the delivery crew. It has been amazing to watch his transformation - back to the boatyard - doing things again for The Derecktor organization - now for Paul - that he used to do for Dad - and it is a whole new world - in so many ways.
This time last year we were all going through the strain with Adam - now 19 - of college applications, acceptances, rejections and the idea that he was really going to college at all. He is now happily enrolled at Boston College and has fit right in making the most of a new situation - the way he always does. He has great room mates - 3 big guys stuffed into a tiny freshman room and has made new friends. He took a full load of classes at first thinking to try Pre Med at first, but now has discovered that is not his path and he's now trying other interesting and challenging classes. He is the only freshman on the lacrosse traveling team which is a big deal. And he is still very much in love with Emily - his high school sweetheart of 3 years now - which it seems is a familiar comfort for both of them.
This year at home has been " the growing of Jaeke, 17 and Belle, 14 - without their big brother". For all of us it's been very interesting. No one knows what to expect when someone leaves - the shifts that take place in a family dynamic.( It has made me wonder what it was like for my family when I left home at age 16 - the eldest sister of 6 - to go off to Ballet Boarding school so far away from home) When Adam first left we were all sort of lost in a way - roaming around the house - very aware of his missing presence and energy. But slowly we found ourselves a new way to be together. Jaeke is filling the big boys shoes now. He is much more independent but not gone all the time - as he could be. He is excelling in school at his own pace - finding his way without his brother and all the school senior buddies that left him behind. Being a big cutie pie - he is easy to be around and word has it that he has a secret entourage at school . He was in the paper being named for being one of the best soccer scorers and players in his division this fall. Luckily for him this year he has a fantastic lacrosse coach who sees Jaeke's natural athletic skill and has got his number for good players. This Christmas holiday Jaeke is happily sailing in The Virgin Islands with his good friend Hans. We are all pea green with envy and dying to hear all about it.
And last but not least there is Izabelle. Now, still straw berry blonde - almost as tall as her brothers - 5 10, or 11 - we haven't measured lately - leaves me being the true shrimp around here. Belle is the multi faceted modern girl - good student, talented and funny actress( wanting to direct some day as well), field hockey and lacrosse player. Lately for my different dance events she has been photographer and videographer too - she's a techie like her Dad that way. For my last NY dance party she was also helping the caterer's of the night. She was great - everyone thought she was 18 and that we were sister's - which was a nice head spinner for me.
It was during that particular weekend that I started thinking of the "circle of life". I danced for a NY party - Adam's freshman college school friend was catering. Her first theme party was of Morocco and she needed a belly dancer - How could I refuse? I stopped to see Paul on the way to NY - at the Mamaroneck yard - and walked into a party for all the boatbuilding guys - some of whom had worked for my Dad for 41 years! Paul's kids were running around the party the way we used to as kids. The hostess of the party summered in Bridgehampton and new my aunt - Dad's sister. I stayed with my college friend Susie and visited with our great dance friend Alan. Next day I saw my old college boyfriend Peter for the first time in 20 years - and his brand new baby daughter met my big baby daughter - and I saw his mother again - who had gone to boarding school with Mom - a million years ago -circles, circles, circles and non ending connections. It's all so wonderful and amazing.
I recently reread my letter from last year for perspective. Last year I was gardening - being so alone with my grief for Dad and trying to understand life without one of my parent's. Needless to say the garden is not getting much attention now. Those gardening muscles and dancing muscles don't mix well.
This year I've been thinking mostly that " Life is all about being in your body". (Especially because dancing so much now I really have to pay attention to my body). When we pass on to the spirit world we don't have our bodies. So this earthly life is about being able to feel ourselves completely and those we love - all the joy and pain of it. I also now think that life is like an airport or a subway- or that heaven must be like an airport. We are all going and coming and traveling somewhere - and we bump into each other - and see people passing that look so familiar - or that remind us of someone we are connected to - for a little while on our way - and then we go on.
Happy Dancing in 2004 Everyone
"You might as well dance"
Love Barbara
If you have any thoughts about this letter - or about any of the subject matters - please do email me at thedancingspirit@aol.com or call 401-624-4289......................oxoxoxoxoxoxo
For those of you who get this letter on paper - please visit my website at www.thedancingspirit.com and click on 2003 - Year in Review - there you will see this year in pictures.
PS - Sibling updates.........
Paul - for the best boats - go to www.Derecktor.com
Tom -for the best truck racks and engineering go to www.Tracrac.com
Deb - for amazing healing go to Chineseenergetic medicine.com
Lizzy - for beautiful hand painted designs go to www.spiritwear.ws
Family Pictures of 2003
Highlights
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And now other Other Exciting Events
"Dancing with Amazing Delilah"
In Ft Lauderdale
Learning " Power Bellies"
Posing Pictures in Spiritwear by my sister Lizzy
The secret to a beautiful "one of a kind" dance or living fantasy outfit is collaboration with the talented Lizzy Derecktor of Spiritwear www.spiritwear.ws . Tell her or draw her your colors and images and she will paint and create your fantasy/reality. For this costume - the skirt is a full dancing skirt - as full as a gypsy dance skirt but much lighter and more flowing to dance with. I decorated the bra top with extra fabric pieces of silk chiffon( great to sew with) and fringe, flowers etc. I also added fringe etc to her painted triangle hip scarf. The head wrap is silk chiffon - fun to tie and decorate also Voila - " One of a kind" - comfortable and beautiful and so much fun to dance in. Call Lizzy in Maine 207 - 633 - 4223 and create your living dance fantasy today.
The Gypsy Caravan Queen
with Armando and Sul
Maja Magic
Queen's of the Night
Dancing Mother's and daughter's
Karla, Laura Rose, Delilah, Sheherazade
That's it everyone...................................